Creating your wedding guest list: Who makes the cut?

Wedding guest list

Wedding guest list can seem like quite the challenge.

By Emily Rochotte

“I don’t have many people to invite,” you and your spouse- think as you start writing your guest list, and the next thing you know your coworker’s friend’s cousin’s boyfriend is on the list and you have to win the lottery to have any chance of paying for all these guests. The good news is, you can cut it down with these five reminders.

1. Have you gone to an acquaintance’s wedding that you were surprised to have been invited to?

Just because they invited you to their wedding does not mean there is an obligation to invite them to yours. Do not feel that you have to invite them to yours, because you don’t. It’s ok to eliminate these people from your wedding guest list.

2. Do you see these people in your life in 10 years? In 20?

This is especially a great question to ask yourself when questioning whether to invite your coworkers or boss. If you are only inviting them because you sit at a desk next to them every day and wouldn’t talk to them if you quit tomorrow, don’t invite them. In fact, if you don’t spend time with any of your coworkers outside of the workplace, skip the entire office altogether.

3. Do not let anyone guilt you into an invitation.

Occasionally, people will ask you when their invitation is coming or if they are going to be invited to your wedding. Stand firm in your decision and gently let them know that you appreciate their support and interest in attending but unfortunately you have chosen your guest list and were not able to invite everyone you had wanted (they never have to know that you didn’t actually want them).

4. Hear out your family, but make the final decision.

You may not have talked to your second cousin twice removed in 25 years, but your parents might push for you to invite them because, “it’s the polite thing to do,” and you want to, “avoid family drama.” Politely listen to them and make them feel heard, especially if they are financially contributing to your wedding, but let them know that you will be making the final decision as this is your day to remember.

5. It is courteous to include a plus-one for married couples, even if you have not met the spouse.

Think about it, your wedding is going to be a celebration of you and your partner becoming teammates, someone you want to go everywhere with for the rest of your life. How would you feel if you were invited to someone’s wedding? Especially if you didn’t know anyone else there, and had to go without your spouse? The same tends to go for couples who are engaged or have been in long-term relationships. Your single friends and family, or those who have been dating casually, do not need to receive plus-ones, but play fair and dole out plus-ones equally.

Remember, at the end of the day it’s your wedding! This is your wedding guest list!  Not your parents’, or your friends’, yours. Invite the people who bring you joy and who you want to remember as you remember your wedding for years to come.


For more inspiration on your wedding guest list, wedding decor and all things wedding check out our Pinterest board. 

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